Anna, United Irvine Parish

During lockdown I was going through a lot of difficult personal things. The breakdown of my relationship, close family deaths. There was no support in lockdown. I felt closed in and really couldn’t see a future.

I wasn’t a churchgoer or interested in religion. I didn’t believe and to be honest I thought it was silly.

But in lockdown I just needed some company and churches were one of the few places you could go. And I wanted to be around people with the same values as me. So I went in, and to my surprise it was actually modern and really friendly.

It was that first week at church and someone spotted I was new and just said, ‘do you want to come to Alpha?’

I made an excuse because I didn’t want to admit that I didn’t believe in all that stuff, and that I’m only here for the company. And I thought it would actually be really boring!

After I’d been asked a couple of times, I thought, ‘Ok, I’ll just get it out of the way’.
It was lockdown anyway and I wasn’t doing anything else.

I am a scientist, it’s my job. I suppose I was doing Alpha so I could say the reasons I don’t believe. To ask questions and just disprove it. Everyone in the group had doubts too and had the same kind of questions.

No one tried to convert me, there was no pressure. As I watched the videos and asked questions I started really thinking about what I’d heard.

Nicky Gumbel on the videos was a solicitor and came from a family of solicitors and so he had looked at the evidence – he came to a decision it was true.

The same thing that happened to him happened to me – I thought oh my goodness there is a God, there’s evidence he really does exist! And the solar system, this world and all its systems, couldn’t just happen by chance. It was impossible, just too much to be coincidence.

God was the creator, and I could know Jesus – how could that not make your life amazing.

One morning lying in bed as I awoke these words came to me, in an audible voice – ‘See the bigger picture’. Words that couldn’t have come from my mind.  I wouldn’t say them as advice to anyone.

And then in the Alpha session that week I heard those exact words – ‘See the bigger picture’ – I felt this was a strong message. I was thinking, ‘Where on earth did that come from?’ I knew it didn’t come from me and that there was only one place it could have come from – God.

Jesus makes a a huge difference in my life in so many ways.

I’ve been able to cope so much better now, even deaths, cause I don’t think it’s the end anymore. I still question why things are happening but I have a trust in God.

I no longer feel lost anymore. I feel my life is on a certain path. God knows what he is doing. I know I’m not on my own and I’m more confident now.

It’s true what they say – the church isn’t the building, it’s the people.

I’m involved in serving in lots of ways in the church community.

I try and never miss a Sunday. I just love it!

Whatever you are going through there is a bigger picture. Try Alpha